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    • #23332

      My husband and I have been married for almost ten years; the problem is that he airs out all of our dirty laundry. He tells his friends and he tells his family; especially his parents. I’m very hurt that he would make others see me as a not good mom or not a good wife. I try very hard and I’m more of a private person. To me, marriage, is a personal matter and I do not put our marriage problems out for everyone to know or to give advice about. He complains about me a lot and it makes me look like a bad person, he doesn’t ever seem to mention the good I do or how loving I am. Does anyone else have this issue? I come from a very small town and I can’t even stand going back there anymore because there’s always a rumor someone will tell me about myself. I just couldn’t imagine doing anything like this to him. I’d never want him to be seen in a negative light. Yes, I am grumpy some days and yes, I probably am a down right bitch on some days but he’s not a perfect person either. Right now I’m heartbroken, hurt, upset, frustrated and pissed off. I don’t know how to let go of the fact that he cannot keep our marriage issues between him and I. It’s not even that big of a deal, every couple argues, I just don’t see why he has to continue to make everything such a big deal and make himself come off as such a victim. 🙁

    • #23389

      It can be very helpful to have a couples counselor get involved – they will have insights into your relationship that the two of you are blind to; they can help facilitate better communication; they can get him to talk to YOU instead of everybody but you. Get some outside help!!

    • #23399

      I agree that marriage counseling can help. Someone who isn’t directly involved but who has the ability to facilitate conversation between the two of you. I hope that helps and that you can find some healing in your marriage!

    • #23474

      Get help to not ruin marriage

    • #23502

      I agree that marriage is a private institution not a public one. And yes, marriage counseling may help or a pastor,etc. However, Have you tried to explain your feelings to him? If not you may try that first. He may not be aware of what he’s doing and the position he’s putting you in. If you have a babysitter available leave the kids with them and be sure to go somewhere where there are absolutely no interruptions or distractions and also be sure to set down some talking rules, i.e., no interrupting each other, blaming, name calling, etc. Repeat back to each other what was said so you both know that the other person is engaged and listening. If you feel he is aware of what he’s doing then the best advice is counseling. Hope this helps and the best of luck!

    • #23659


      A marriage counselor would be helpful. Wishing you all the best.

    • #23972

      Marriage counseling should be helpful

    • #24139

      I agree with the idea of counseling. It seems like your husband needs an outlet to vent. Maybe if he talks with a counselor, he won’t need to discuss your private business in public.

    • #24862

      My husband has been doing the same thing for years. It’s to the point that I’m embarrassed to even go over to his families house. I do not say anything negative about him to my friends or family, yet he thinks he’s doing nothing wrong. It’s annoying because he obviously doesn’t share anything negative that he says or does with them, so it’s really biased. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I wish I had a solution for the both of us. ~Hugs~

    • #26507

      Thanks everyone! I have told him my feelings and he continues to tell me he will work on it. I know this sounds bad but I’m glad one of you shared that you are having this trouble also; makes me feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone.

    • #26838

      Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can make a person feel better about their situation. We both deserve happiness, respect and unconditional love. Here’s to hoping for a happy ending!

    • #27370

      I think it’s important to remember that respect for your spouse is very crucial. Speaking to someone who has wisdom and he looks up to may help open his eyes and allow him to realize he is not respecting you by doing that.

    • #63757

      Have you tried having him read this post? Maybe if you let him read it he will see your words and realize how hurt you are. I agree, marriage stuff needs to stay within the marriage. Some times writing your feelings and handing them to him in Ink might make him have an ah ha moment without, (hopefully), starting a fight…

    • #86708

      I know that I’m late in adding my comments to this topic but what I can say being married for over 20 years that sometimes it’s difficult with all of the ups and downs that occur in the relationship. We need someone to talk with about our problems so we turn to people we can trust to do so. I found out in my relationship that it has been other things that has caused us to disagree on in negative way to each other. The problems could be at the job, kids, life and etc. but since you’re close to each other you would take those issues out on each other so have a discussion on things in your life that’s frustrating you so communicate them by going out for a walk in the park or now since fall is here maybe talk around a fire pit with refreshments to work it out. Hug and kiss each other and apologize

    • #113865

      I vent to my family about our issues and my family does not look at him as a bad husband or father.

    • #137846

      Maybe counseling would be beneficial. I wouldn’t dream about talking poorly about my husband and I know he wouldn’t talk poorly of me.

    • #146105

      I would talk to him about how you feel communication is key! Let him know how hurt you feel and exactly what you would like him to stop doing. I agree with you though I am a private person as well and I like my buisness to stay between him and I not the whole world because sometimes we say things we don’t mean out of anger, both of us, and I don’t want him going around telling people only the bad things. It sounds like he wants attention and sympathy from others, like everyone to be on HIS side of the fight or argument. I would really try talking to him.

    • #146400


      Honestly, telling everyone your business is NOT cool. I would go with the advice some other ladies suggested & look into counseling with your husband. If he needs to vent, a counselor with you there could be helpful. I wish you the best. Hey, none of us are perfect, but there should be a strong level of trust in a marriage. There are things that should stay between just you two. Best of luck, honey.

    • #199235

      So much useful information.

    • #200357

      That makes it very hard

    • #200501


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