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  • #23332

    My husband and I have been married for almost ten years; the problem is that he airs out all of our dirty laundry. He tells his friends and he tells his family; especially his parents. I’m very hurt that he would make others see me as a not good mom or not a good wife. I try very hard and I’m more of a private person. To me, marriage, is a personal matter and I do not put our marriage problems out for everyone to know or to give advice about. He complains about me a lot and it makes me look like a bad person, he doesn’t ever seem to mention the good I do or how loving I am. Does anyone else have this issue? I come from a very small town and I can’t even stand going back there anymore because there’s always a rumor someone will tell me about myself. I just couldn’t imagine doing anything like this to him. I’d never want him to be seen in a negative light. Yes, I am grumpy some days and yes, I probably am a down right bitch on some days but he’s not a perfect person either. Right now I’m heartbroken, hurt, upset, frustrated and pissed off. I don’t know how to let go of the fact that he cannot keep our marriage issues between him and I. It’s not even that big of a deal, every couple argues, I just don’t see why he has to continue to make everything such a big deal and make himself come off as such a victim. 🙁

  • #23389

    It can be very helpful to have a couples counselor get involved – they will have insights into your relationship that the two of you are blind to; they can help facilitate better communication; they can get him to talk to YOU instead of everybody but you. Get some outside help!!

  • #23399

    I agree that marriage counseling can help. Someone who isn’t directly involved but who has the ability to facilitate conversation between the two of you. I hope that helps and that you can find some healing in your marriage!

  • #23474

    Get help to not ruin marriage

  • #23502

    I agree that marriage is a private institution not a public one. And yes, marriage counseling may help or a pastor,etc. However, Have you tried to explain your feelings to him? If not you may try that first. He may not be aware of what he’s doing and the position he’s putting you in. If you have a babysitter available leave the kids with them and be sure to go somewhere where there are absolutely no interruptions or distractions and also be sure to set down some talking rules, i.e., no interrupting each other, blaming, name calling, etc. Repeat back to each other what was said so you both know that the other person is engaged and listening. If you feel he is aware of what he’s doing then the best advice is counseling. Hope this helps and the best of luck!

  • #23659
    Meg
    Meg

    A marriage counselor would be helpful. Wishing you all the best.

  • #23972

    Marriage counseling should be helpful

  • #24139

    I agree with the idea of counseling. It seems like your husband needs an outlet to vent. Maybe if he talks with a counselor, he won’t need to discuss your private business in public.

  • #24862

    My husband has been doing the same thing for years. It’s to the point that I’m embarrassed to even go over to his families house. I do not say anything negative about him to my friends or family, yet he thinks he’s doing nothing wrong. It’s annoying because he obviously doesn’t share anything negative that he says or does with them, so it’s really biased. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I wish I had a solution for the both of us. ~Hugs~

  • #26507

    Thanks everyone! I have told him my feelings and he continues to tell me he will work on it. I know this sounds bad but I’m glad one of you shared that you are having this trouble also; makes me feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone.

  • #26838

    Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can make a person feel better about their situation. We both deserve happiness, respect and unconditional love. Here’s to hoping for a happy ending!

  • #27370

    I think it’s important to remember that respect for your spouse is very crucial. Speaking to someone who has wisdom and he looks up to may help open his eyes and allow him to realize he is not respecting you by doing that.

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