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  • #109226

    I feel like dirt for even feeling like this, but I’m jealous of the time my husband gets to spend with our daughter. She cries for me to stay home with her, it kills me when she cries for me, but I can’t take a lot of time off at my job yet because I’ve been here less than a year. At my previous, horrible, job I didn’t get a lot of time off either. My husband though, he has very lenient hours and can take off time, or “work from home” a lot, so he gets to stay home with her a lot, like about once a week. He stayed home again today because he didn’t sleep well. I didn’t sleep well either because of all the tossing and turning he did, which kept me awake. But now he’s home with her again, and I’m at work. It makes me angry, and I know it’s irrational, but I’m mad at him for it.
    I don’t know what I’m expecting to hear from everyone. I went searching for a message board of moms because I wanted someone to vent to, while being sort of anonymous, because I feel guilty for even having these feelings.

  • #109297

    I think all moms have some guilt leaving their little ones at home without them. It’s a good thing that your child has her dad at home with her. However, I can understand that you’d like to be there too. Maybe talk to her husband and ask that he send you pictures or calls you at lunch so you can feel included in their day. Also, make the weekends special for you and your child. Forget the laundry and spend some bonding time with just the two of you and later in the day the three of you. Most of all, it’s okay to vent, we are all human with a mixed bag of emotions, just know that everything will get better!

    • #110000
      Mel
      Mel

      @samplemesimple. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I think you hit the nail on the head and you gave really great advice. 🙂

  • #109336

    I think that mom guilt is universal. Like you, I work traditional hours and my husband has a more flexible schedule, so he is able to stay home with the kids more often. I try to be thankful that my kids are able to spend so much time with my husband instead of in daycare.

  • #109484

    The jealousy can def go both ways. I stay at home, while my husband works and I definitely feel jealous of the interaction he gets to have with others.I would not change our circumstances, this is what works for us and I am grateful for it but I am human and feel jealousy sometimes.
    If I was in your shoes, I would also feel the same way.
    It is okay to feel this way, and this is part of the reasons of having the forums, for Moms to vent and get encouragement from others.
    This is just a season and who knows what the next job or season of life will look like!

    • #141066
      Mel
      Mel

      Oh, I can relate to this!!

  • #109523

    interesting

  • #109528

    Thank you to everyone for making me feel more “normal.” Lol. I try not to take it out on him when I feel jealous or angry, but sometimes he notices my mood and asks me what’s wrong. I feel so bad and stupid really for being angry at him, because I know that it’s silly, that I just tell him nothing is wrong, which is the typical stereotypical response when a woman is mad at her husband, isn’t it? haha!

  • #109540

    good answers for you here. your daughter is so lucky that she has a dad relationship – many kids don’t. You need open communication with your husband – he sounds pretty wonderful, actually, compared to others: like when he asks what is wrong. So, tell him you feel bad and stupid for feeling so, but you wish you had more time with her. Just say it, don’t feel like something has to change really (because it kinda can’t). Then have a group hug.(PS, when your daughter cries for you, she is expressing, in the only way she knows, that she loves you.She isn’t trying to guilt you. She is probably just fine once you leave.)

  • #109913

    awww

  • #113864

    We’ve all been there, totally normal

  • #123917

    I am totally opposite! I love for my husband to get to spend some time with our daughter. But i am a stay at home mom too. I understand where you are coming from though!

  • #140999

    MD.

    I can understand why you are mad. But maybe you should find a way to spend quality time with your daughter, what about a mom- daughter date? Do not be mad at your husband, that makes things worse for you. I do not work so I spent 24/7 with my kids, which believe me can be overwhelming too. You know how is life when we have something we are not satisfied with it, humans! What about, just saying do the same job your husband does? Is it possible?

  • #215690

    Hope things are going better for you. Thank you for sharing. I know that wasn’t easy.
    I just wanted to say that when she gets odler she WILL appreciate you. You are making huge sacrifices because you do love her.

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