June 29, 2019 at 7:11 am #212634
I am a single parent of a just turned 13 yr old, & a 4 yr old. My oldest has attempted suicide three times since January 28th, she turned 13 May 8th.
I have done everything on God’s green earth to try to help her. After 2nd attempt, I pulled her out of school and started her in a homebound program.Therapy once to twice a week. Psychiatrist once a month. Both doctors in different towns then we live in. I resigned from work to keep all eyes on her at all times, we moved in with family because of the lack of income. She has been denied internet access since the end of 2018 school year because of the self harming (cutting) & mainly the horrible lies she made up and told strangers. She has snuck and taken phones to join back in group chats, kik, and done some unspeakable things. My daughter is mentally ill and unfortunately there is not a lot of resources where I am located to help her. This last attempt, she was sending a 30yr old man ‘nude’s. After leaving the hospital, I took her straight to police station, at my wits end. Even though the nude pictures were of herself, she is still a minor and it is considered possession of child pornography. I filed a report on my own child because I literally did not know what else to do. One of the sickest feelings I have ever felt. I needed outside help and boy did I finally get it. Thank God to the officer that was working at 5:30 that morning for putting the fear of GOD into my child. I have done everything I can, now I need outside help. I have been working with other people trying to get her into a Residential Treatment Facility. Unfortunately with state insurance her options are very limited, and state funded programs are always under staffed, under funded, and over worked. I have no other options at this time.
On the other hand, my 4 yr old has developed a stutter from witnessing her sisters behavior. She wants to grow up to be just like her older sister. I will not bury two children. I can not keep sacrificing my healthy 4 yr old, showing her all the wrong ways to get my attention.
I have a VERY hard time separating the child I know, from the mental illnesses that are poisoning her mind. Mental illness is hereditary in my family so I remember what I went through and felt like.
Being a single parent going through this, no one to have my back, no one to support me, no one to help ease my mind….I never wish this on anyone. Not a single soul.
Have any of you gone through this? How did you cope? How hard was it to put on a strong woman mask in front of your kids, then wait until they at least hit a REM cycle before you broke down in bathroom? Any ‘tricks’ that you can pass along would be oh so much appreciated. I have been sleeping on couch since May, scared that she will walk out front door one night and I will never see her again.
She has been diagnosed Manic Bipolar, Manic depressive, Adhd, Ptsd, with borderline personality disorder. I too was diagnosed with these and it has taken me 21 years to recognize certain behaviors that I know if I continue it will not end well. I can not have her go through what I went through, live the life I lived, trying to cope. Please help, pray, send good vibes our way.
July 1, 2019 at 12:40 pm #214595
Wow, I’m sorry you are going thought so much. Where are the children’s fathers and why are they not paying child support ? I have six children and never had to deal with this type of issues. I would place her in a place where they can find out what is really going on with her. It’s something there. Try again to place her somewhere she can get treated and watched. If she is self harming herself I would fear for her life and others around her.Your four year old need you to let her know everything is going to be ok. She might have notice changes and the things going on around her. Four year olds are very smart and pick up on things. This is really sad. Best of luck and please get her some help soon as you can.
July 1, 2019 at 1:29 pm #214613
@Tamikadorch, A residential treatment facility is a full time program. She could be there anywhere from 3 months to 12 months, depending on so many factors. They will monitor her mood swings, outbursts, manipulation techniques and regulate medication accordingly as well as give her the tools she needs to help herself. I have been trying for almost a month to get her in, unfortunately at this time there are no beds available. I will not give up though.
As far as the self harm, in her case cutting….1 in 8 children do it. That means that every public school teacher has an average of 3 kids in their classroom that are cutting themselves. That is a very high number to me. I removed all scissors, knives, razors, bobby pins (they will pop off round part at end and use that to cut) tacks, paperclips, staples, any and everything that she might use to cut.We also have daily body checks and random checks, if I feel like she is trying to hide a body part with clothing we check. Under chest, panty line, if you can think of it…I check.
In the beginning I did not notice. She was12 in a 42 DD bra. Since she has been a young child she always wore long sleeve shirts, baggy clothing, trying to hide the fact that she was very well developed for her age. I was going through a tablet she had and saw where she had taken pictures of the cuts on her arm, that’s when I found out. After that I removed every sweater, long sleeve shirt, hoodie, pullover, jacket,in her room, nothing but short sleeves are tank tops left.
To some, it might seem extreme. But until you are fighting moment by moment to keep your child from removing themselves from this earth, please do not pass judgement.
Child Support…her ‘father’s ran off 6 years ago, he has been on child support for 9 years, when he disappeared I have not received a penny. I can not afford a private investigator to hunt him down. He does not call to wish her a happy birthday, merry Christmas,happy Easter, or even just to know if she is still alive. No contact at all in past 6 years. I know he is alive because people have mentioned seeing him. I don’t have a number for him and when I call his family they tell me that they will call him, refuse to give me his number even when she was I’m hospital, and they will have him call me. He never has. Without knowing where he works DHR will not look for him.
I am seriously struggling. My car is having an attitude & I cannot afford the repairs at this time. Which really leaves us in a bind with all the doctor appointments that are over an hr away for either of them. .
All I have felt in past year is despair. Utter despair. It should not be this hard to get my child the help she needs. I live in a very large wealthy community with 4 hospitals and yet there is no pediatric help of any kind for any child in this area. It is sickening.
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