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    • #442476

      Good day everyone,
      Some of the ladies and I are a bit older or had our children a little younger than they should have. But I’m on a 10 day trip or visit to see my oldest son he’s about to turn 30 and we got into situation. He felt like I was going to judge him on the way that he kept his place his person and etc. Not realizing that sometimes we have the letter kids be themselves your own home even if we still want to be the mother hen to clean and cook and do all this stuff that we did for them when they were younger. He thought that I was going to judge him on stuff but I felt like I was only trying to help like I understand that when I’m gone you have to take care of what you have to take care of with the paper that you have to pay for because you are an adult and your dad’s and my bank account is closed to you unless it’s all real real emergency but it was like he was waiting for me to judge him and when I did it it just made him want to have the argument so that he could feel like I was going to let blame him for whatever it was that he felt in his mind I had called him some anxiety because you have roommates that totally charged the place along with him now that it’s just him. Had just wish he had said Mom can you wait a couple of months so I can get the place together before you come or Mom can you stay out of Airbnb because this is the situation I would have understood and it wouldn’t have had been a big anxiety issue. Sometimes his parents we say we’re going on vacation to visit our kids but we go there with the plan to cook,clean do laundry. Be the bank etc. Only to be able to say that I did all this so it gives me the right to nag you and be a total pain in the ass so that the next time that you want to visit there not up for the long stay they just want you to just stay away or a little longer because they know what you’re coming down to do I’m coming down to be what you’re coming down to be MOM again & tell Dad how the adult kid is living. But if you look outside your own box you will see all that they are accomplishing and you just leave the window up conversation with a lot of I love you and you try to maintain your cool even though the thought of one’s imagination is trigging not so friendly thoughts trust and believe your adult child is probably thinking the same thoughts on getting you to understand, leave the mess for them to their self.

    • #442522

      I think most of us could write a variation of this letter; it happens to all families no matter the ages of parents and “children”. You are very insightful – betting you all will be OK

    • #442600

      It all comes down to communication

    • #446691

      My son was a very neat kid when he was little and then when he got into high school he became a slob because he finally made some friends and seen how they lived. When he moved out on his own he was slobby for a while but then he cleaned up his act when he realized that some friends were taking advantage of him. Now he hates when his roomy is a slob and he’s been getting her to be cleaner and neater. Some kids just have to learn on their own I guess depending on circumstance.

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