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    • #434370

      Some of the members in my group goes beyond the gift of sisterhood. A few years ago after a brutal custody match. My children’s father took our kids to North Carolina and Everytime I went to visit via Greyhound bus, my kid’s dad would pick me up at the bus depot and take me to my hotel. The next day he would bring the kids. But that night I felt obligated to have sex as payment to see my kids so as the months went by I always brought a friend with me to block that payment which I always felt he wanted to do. But because my friend or friends came he wouldn’t try to do or get. As my kids got older and they wanted to spend as much time with me in the state that I lived in as I wanted them to I no longer felt obligated. But now how do I tell them my story when they ask why was Dad always acting funny when you came down like he had to have some huge
      conversations about how they were doing or what they were up to but we never had those conversations when I came for a visit unless my girlfriend’s,cousins, sisters, were with me or over the phone now that all my kids are older and they know the story of their father from time to time and all has been forgiven as I have gotten older and been able to tell him how to find himself it is now that he wants to change the story so that he doesn’t sound as bad as he really was at the time. The first week of June I’m going with 3 of my oldest kids & granddaughter and we’re going to go visit their Father/ Grandfather. It’s been a number of years but I still have
      the feelings a little bit Like don’t leave me in the room with this Mofo. Cuz I might have a flashback & all the counseling may be for not

    • #434524

      I have heard of similar stories, men trying to stay in control over their narrative in the family, all about the ego. I would recommend if you have a spouse, cousin and their children to bring some separation between you and this man. I think you need to explain to your children that the experience you had can’t be erased and he is manipulating his reputation all to keep control of you. If you can’t handle being around him more than ten minutes, take a break and drive to a park to meditate and pray you gain the strength to overcome the fear he is using.

    • #437184

      Since your children seem to be older can they visit their father without you? It might be better for your peace of mind if you didn’t join your children/grandchild them.

    • #437398

      Thank you for the support. They do but recently he had a removal of a body part due to diabetes.

    • #437751

      Sorry you’re dealing with this.

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